September 24, 2007

Writing a Winning Internet Dating Profile.

You finally made the decision to join an Internet Dating Service and now you have to write a short description about your lifestyle, personality, likes and dislikes. This is make or break time. If your profile is good you will receive lots of emails begging you to have a conversation. If your profile is poorly written you may receive no responses or only those from inappropriate matches. Here is a collection of time tested tips for writing an effective profile that will attract lots of potentially compatible dates.

1. Include photos. Even profiles with poor photos receive 8 to 10 times more responses as compared to profiles with no photos. Post 5 photos that include a flattering head shot, a good body pose and a photo of you doing something you enjoy. Try not to post 5 exact same poses. Use current photos that truly represent what you look like today.

Consider testing your photos at a photo rating website like HotOrNot.com. This is one of many websites that allow you to upload photos and have others rate them. Submit 10 photos to be rated. Select only the highest rated photos to actually use in your dating profile.

If you are not particularly photogenic hire a professional photographer.

2. Don't copy other profiles entirely but instead look for excellent examples of descriptive writing that can be emulated. If you like the way a person has described their interest in travel or their eyes for example, modify it to fit your profile.

3. Don't be negative. Don't complain about bad past relationships unless the point of your story is how you have changed into a more desirable person. Most people are looking for a relationship that will help them escape life's disappointments. Don't drive them away.

4. Don't come across too needy. Who is going to be interested in being your slave, care taker or psychologist? When writing your profile consider that your readers will be asking themselves these two questions: 1. "Who cares?" and 2. "What's in it for me?"

5. Describe yourself honestly, accurately, and without apology. If you are fat say so in a way that is positive and not apologetic. There are quite literally millions of people that are attracted to each and every body shape and personality type.

Your goal should not be to win over people that aren't naturally attracted to your type because they will never fully appreciate or enjoy you. Instead positively and accurately communicate who you really are so the people that are looking for your exact type will realize that they have found you.

It is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world to be loved for just being yourself.

6. Write with personal warmth as if you are talking directly to a real person (because you are).

7. Include your values and opinions in a positive way. Strong opinions will tell people a lot about you. Those that disagree may pass you by but those that agree with you may feel attracted to a kindred spirit. Be careful not to express those opinions in a way that makes you appear insensitive, disrespectful or intolerant. A know-it-all is no fun for anyone.

8. Don't try to be all things for all people. If you claim to like every type of music, sports, body types and personalities you may be stating that you have no distinguishing interests. Tell what makes you different, not the same as everyone else. You are not trying to attract everyone that reads your profile. You are trying to eliminate people that do not fit your needs.

9. Proof read, spell and grammar check your profile. Also have several friends review the finished profile. Write in complete sentences. Write complete words. Write "please" not "plz". Sloppy writing makes a negative first impression like a dirty car. If you prefer a casual writing style make sure that it communicates clearly with warmth and lots of personality. Don't make the mistake of appearing sloppy, lazy or even ignorant.

10. Make claims that are credible. Don't say that you are smart or funny or athletic. Instead tell a good story to show how this is true.

11. Avoid meaningless clich鳮 Declaring that you like to "live life to the fullest" it is just too vague. That statement can easily mean different things to different people. Instead illustrate your statement by describing a story about a favorite hobby or vacation.

12. Don't be too brief. You must include enough information to offer a sufficient peek into your world. If you are too brief you may not distinguish yourself enough to stand out from the crowd. A long profile will quickly filter out those that would not have been interested anyway but give the interested dating service members enough information to decide to contact you and not some else.

The advertising industry has proven this in definitive tests for over 100 years. Well written, informative, long copy is necessary and always outsells short copy.

13. Be bold but diplomatic about expressing your personal preferences. If you prefer dates from a certain race, religion, age or body type there is nothing wrong with that. However express it clearly as your personal preference only and not as a negative about the other excluded types.

14. Don't be too narrow when specifying the characteristics of your ideal candidate. A long laundry list of inflexible, narrow partner preferences might just scare away good candidates.

15. Test. Write several profiles and post each one for two to four weeks to see which one gets the best results.

16. Use humor. It shows that you are clever, smart, fun and down to earth in ways that a direct claim will not work. It also makes you seem more approachable. Don't use humor at others expense. Don't use off color humor. Don't use too much self deprecating humor. This can be misinterpreted as a lack of self confidence. Don't worry about making everyone laugh because you will always confuse and even turn off some. The people that get a kick out of your specific brand of humor will most likely be fun to be around.

17. Get Professional Help. Many internet dating service companies are more than willing to review or even write your profile for a nominal fee. They know that if you are successful you will recommend their dating service to your friends.

Keep in mind that you don't need a perfect profile just one that is a little more interesting and informative than the next person. Since most dating service members do not bother to put much effort into their profile those that do have a tremendous advantage.

Top Ten Dating Tips You Gotta Know!

Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, decide who you are looking for, do your research and be ready to commit to dating. Half heartedness won't work. Also prepare for some let downs along the way but don't take dating too seriously either.

Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself.

Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't go overboard and look like someone you are not but maybe its time to throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. People appreciate appearance.

Have a good think about what your dating goals are and timescales. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date.

Sort out your confidence levels in advance. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Do all the things that will boost your confidence from avoiding negative friends (often the married ones) to attending the right kind of social functions. Couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now.

Choose those you have a good chance of dating, don't aim low but do aim realistically. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous then good for you, but be prepared and be realistic about your chances.

Work out in advance where in your neighborhood you are likely to meet people and join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups, anything where you are likely to meet potential partners. The kind of partners you are looking for. I know its a clich頢ut you will not meet people by staying indoors.

Take time off from dating occasionally if its not going well or causing dating fatigue. Dating is an ongoing process and so recharging the batteries and keeping the confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. So date in phases if necessary.

Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not bring you a sparkle. The fact is, most people are interesting and whilst you may not be out there looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way.

Never ever make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. In keeping with this do not sleep with your dates early on if you want them to progress, so keep sex until later. The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. Peak too early and you have little left to offer and emotions may never have had the time to develop.

4 Ways Making Eye Contact Can Help You Pick Up Women.

A woman's eyes can reveal a LOT about her personality. And this is especially true when it shows her levels of attraction.

The truth is women DO display specific body language cues through their eyes which indicate when they find a guy attractive. The trick is being able to detect these signals and interpret their meaning. When you know you're being given specific "attraction signals", you can use this information to increase your chances of success with women.

In this article, I'm going to reveal four of the most common eye contact signals you can receive from a woman and what they mean. Let's get started...

#1- The Vertical Look

The Vertical Look is the classic "checking you out" signal. This is when a woman will give look at your face then literally run her eyes up and down your body. It's VERY similar to the look that guys give when we notice an attractive girl (Except they're more subtle about it)

The idea behind The Vertical Scan is that this woman saw something she liked about your face and wanted to "find out more" about you. That's why she gives a look from your face all the way down your body. When you get a look like this, you know that she is at LEAST somewhat attracted you. So you can use this look to initiate a conversation.

#2- The Approach Look

There are some LUCKY moments when you'll receive a direct look from a woman. Usually when you receive 'The Approach Look' from a woman, you're being given a signal which shows she wants to be approached.

It's a simple look. Whenever you're scanning a room, if a woman holds eye contact with you or smiles at your glance, then you're being given a subtle invitation to walk over and talk to her. So obviously whenever you see this sign you should use it to approach a woman.

#3- The 'I Like You' Look

Now when you're talking to a woman, you'll experience some moments when her eyes will reveal high levels of attraction. The first of them is when you'll see that she has pupil dilation.

What's interesting is all human beings have an unconscious reflex to dilate their pupils whenever we're talking to a persona we find attractive. This means when you're in a conversation and you notice that her pupil (the black center of her eye) is dilated then you know that she's attracted to you.

So when you get a sign like this, then you know that your attraction building techniques are working.

#4- The 'Kiss Me' Look

Now the final eye contact signal you'll receive from a woman is when she wants to be kissed. During certain moments of a conversation a woman will look directly at you and send a clear indicator that she wants you to initiate a kiss.

Here's how it works. During a conversation, you might notice that a woman will look directly into your eyes, then down to your lips. In fact, she might give this look a few times.

When you receive this signal, immediately take action. Just KISS her. Yes, it's that simple. Since she has sent you signals, then it's important to take advantage of this opportunity!

Making (and interpreting) eye contact with a woman is a great way to detect her attraction signals. When you know you're being given clear indicators of interest, then it'll become easy to increase your success!

How to Read Romantic Body Language.

Being able to read body language can give your clues as to whether someone has a romantic interest in you or not. By accurately reading their body language you will be able to determine whether or not the other person is feeling comfortable around you and eager to get to know you better.

Understanding body language is also significant because it can ensure that you are not unintentionally sending the wrong messages out to other people. Body language can often be both subtle and subconscious but if you are aware of your body language you can make a conscious effort to make sure that you are sending an accurate message to others with your own body language. The art of reading body language really isn't difficult and once you are familiar with a few guidelines you will come to realize that understanding body language is very intuitive. Correctly reading body language will ensure that you don't miss out on approaching potential partners who are sending you signs that they are interested in pursuing a romance with you.

How close a person stands to you can be one of the most important body language clues to whether someone is interested in you romantically or not. Their proximity to you can be directly proportional to their romantic interest in you. In other words the closer they stand to you the more interested they are in you romantically and the farther they stand away from you the less interested they are in pursuing a romance with you. In general the two foot rule applies. This means that if a person does not get closer than two feet to you, they aren't interested in a romance with you. This distance is significant because a length of two feet is approximately an arms length and standing this far from you makes the other person feel safe that you will not reach out and physically touch them. This subtle use of body language to avoid closeness with you is a clear sign of a lack of romantic interest. Conversely, if the person stands closer to you and within arms reach they are not apprehensive about being touched by you and are sending you a signal that they are interested in you. The intimacy of standing close to someone is a clear body language indication that you have a romantic interest in that person.

Another body language clue that someone is interested in you is that they begin to copy your own body language. This often happens subconsciously but if you notice someone mimicking your behaviors it is a clear sign that they are interested in you. This mimicking behavior can begin almost immediately and is very easy to read or pick up on. If you notice this behavior, you may initially feel upset as though the other person is mocking you by copying you but this is not the case. In fact the behavior should be flattering because it is an indication that the other person admires you and is trying to become more like you in subtle ways. More often than not the other person isn't even aware of what they are doing but there is a natural instinct to try to imitate those that we admire to draw ourselves closer to them. Mimicking is pretty easy to notice and it is also a clear body language indication of romantic interest.

Body positioning can also be a form of body language that can either convey romantic interest or disinterest. When speaking to someone, if their body and particularly their torso is turned towards you and leaning closer to you this is an indication of romantic interest. This body positioning leaves you unguarded and vulnerable which indicates trust in the other person. If this trust were not in existence you would not put yourself in such a vulnerable position and would be more likely to stand with your body turned slightly away from the other person and leaning away from them. Standing in a way that positions your body in an open position towards another person is a clear example of body language that expresses a romantic interest.

Your eyes often send body language messages to those around you letting them know whether or not you are interested in them. When you have a romantic interest in someone you make eye contact and also blink often. Both of these signals let the other person know that you are attracted to them by conveying the message that you are interested in what they have to say. Avoiding eye contact lets a person know that you are not comfortable with them and that you do not have a romantic interest in them. If you are uncomfortable looking someone directly in the eye and avoid eye contact, you are trying to send the message that you are not interested in further contact with them. It's often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul and this may be true as your eyes can certainly send quite a message.

Although body language is often subtle and subconscious it can also send a clear message regarding romantic interest. Perhaps the fact that body language is subconscious is what also makes it such an accurate indication or romantic language. Since body language is done without thought it allows the person to send messages that they would be uncomfortable conveying verbally.

5 Tips to Have Positive Initial Conversations When Approaching a Woman!

Do you know that women do not think the same way as man? If you try to understand what a woman is thinking you will be forever lost. Let me asking you again : Do you know how to talk to woman that you feel attracted to? Do you know how to approach a woman you that you are interested? What do you say to her?Here I am going to tell you the 5 tips when you approaching her:

First thing to do is relax and be yourself. Women hate men who are dishonest or are trying to be something they are not. They can spot a jerk a mile off. Don't use some kind of phony line. Your line may get you a few laughs but its not you.

If youre meeting a woman for the first time introduce yourself. Stick out your hand to shake hands. There is nothing wrong with offering your hand to shake. Women like the same courtesy you would offer to another man. Don't squeeze her hand just let be firm and not a limp dish rag either. If she is interested in talking to you she will let you know with her response, body language, etc. Don't force the issue if she isn't interested nothing you say or do will change her mind.

Always be polite even if she tends to be rude and standoffish. She is a human being and deserves the same respect you would give another man. Many men find themselves coming up short cause they try to push themselves on a woman. A woman will talk to you and want to get to know you if you make her feel comfortable. If she feels uncomfortable she will want to get out of there. She will use any excuse to steer you off.

Don't violate her space. A woman will set up an acceptable distance between you and her. As she gets more comfortable her body language will point towards you. If her body language is pulling away from you she may be uncomfortable or not interested in you at all. Don't misjudge politeness for interest.

Be honest with yourself if the woman your talking to does not interest you. You may discover you have not any interest in her after talking to her. Don't waste her time and hers. Be polite but bow out of the conversation.

Don't make promises you won't or cannot keep. Always be honest in your relationships. Just to be polite and tell someone you will call them is not the way to do it. If your not planning on calling don't say you will. She will feel a lot better about you if you just be honest up front. You never know you might have made a good friend even if you are not in a relationship.

Some meetings never develop beyond the initial conversation. But you never know if a friendship could be cultivated from it. Women love to have guy friends just as much as female friendships. This goes the same for men. If you keep these things in mind you will have some very positive experiences with women. HAVE A NICE TRY!

3 Quick Tips For Having Great Conversations with Women.

Think back to the last time you had a conversation with a woman you were interested in.

Let me ask you something... what were you focusing on the MOST? Was it:

* How to talk to woman that I just met so she can feel attracted to me? * How to ask her phone number? * How to make good impression to her, so she'll like me?

I've been thinking about this a lot today, and I realized that one of the biggest mistakes us guys make is that we are too focused on "what she thinks of us" or "if we're going to get what we want (phone number, first date, etc)"... that we completely forget the purpose of the conversation, which is...

Getting to know the person in front of you!

Well, I've got a few great tips for you to use next time you talk to a nice looking girl and can make a great conversations with her. Here's a quick recap of the 3 tips...

1. Notice what she gives you.

Notice what cues she gives you to work with. Often she'll reveal tiny snippets of personal information, hoping that you'll take the ball and run with it. Pay attention to what she says, and use it as a doorway into deeper, and better conversation.

2. Ask her questions about her personal interests and passions.

Try to get off the small talk after a few minutes. Start with something innocent and minor, but try to take the conversation to a personal level. It makes it more interesting for the both of you. Trust me, she DOESN'T want the conversation to stay surface level the whole time. If she does, then find someone else.

3. Offer a date, not ask a date

You're not a child who has to ask permission anymore. If you want to take a woman out, just let her know that you're interested in make an offer to spend time together at some place interesting.

It sounds simple right? Now, You already know "how to talk to woman". The only things, you must remember the 3 tips above when you're in the real world talking to a real woman. By doing that you'll not loosen up, and you can start genuinely try to get to know her, and she'll FEEL OK with that.If she feels like you are actually interested in her, she'll become MUCH more interested in YOU. GOOD LUCK!

Tips on how to pick up women: Study her smile.

So the girl you are trying to chat up smiles at you. Wow, she must like you, you think, so you keep on with the line of conversation you've chosen, believing it to be working. And you get nowhere! What happened? She was smiling, wasn't she? She must have liked you. Well this can happen when you try to pick up girls. Was the smile real or a fake?

A smile is generally a reflex gesture responding to signals from the brain. It is basically a submissive gesture that tells people we are no threat or we mean them no harm. It is used to gain acceptance on a friendly level and to put people at ease. The idea is then to pave the way for the future relationship.

Reflex or not, it can be abused. How often have you seen politicians pictured with their rivals and they both have these huge grins on their faces, when just last week at the party conference they were calling each other all kinds of names? Yes, the smiles are faked because they want the other one (and the public) to believe they like them and the future is bright. And women are better at it then men, unfortunately, stemming from the fact they are natural conciliators and like to sort things out without a fight.

Oh dear, so a girl isn't likely to tell you to get lost because she is probably looking for a quiet way out. The smile will be so as not to hurt your feelings. One to watch out for is the tight-lipped smile that doesn't show the teeth. Her she is hiding an emotion and using the smile to do it. Other women will see it as an obvious sign of rejection.

To read a genuine smile look for open lips and wrinkles around the eyes. The eye bit is important because the muscles at work her are responding to signals from the brain and are much harder to fake. You would have to be a professional liar to get that right every time.
About the Author

How To Ask A Girl Out On A Date.

Probably the most common questions guys have about dating is. "How do I ask a girl out on a date?"

It can feel like complete torture to most men. Some guys would rather cut off their arm then go up to an attractive women, and see if they would like to go out sometime.
I have a solution to this problem for you guys. It will completely shock you with its simplicity. You ready?

Stop asking women out! (at least the way you have been)

When you ask a women out. She immediately gets into "date mode." She starts thinking about, the commitment, the awkward conversation, does she have time for a person in her life right now.

You might think, a women won't think about all that when the question arises. One thing you need to remember is, women think with their feelings, not their words.

There are a couple reasons you don't want to ask a women on a date.

When asking a girl out on a date, she will automatically see if she's attracted to you or not. She has to figure out her interest level in you in less then a minute.

What is it you need to know? A woman doesn't want to lead a guy on. But she also isn't sure if she is interested in you at that very moment. So when you see someone on the street and you ask for her number. She will tend to say No. It doesn't necessarily mean you weren't her type. But you made her decide "On the Spot" if she wanted to give you her personal information.
Most women are not attracted to you immediately. Unless its on looks alone. If you rely on pure sex appeal, your really relying on "luck."

Here's the better approach.
Don't move so fast. Be patient.

What is the most relaxed environment for a date?

Going out to dinner. Where you both will have to be on your best behavior. Where the romantic setting will not allow you both to feel more at ease and casual. Or, a fun environment such as an amusement park or sporting event. Somewhere where you both can let your guard down and have a little fun. So that you can really be yourself.

Keep this in your mind. The dinner might have more of an edge you were hoping for. But you need to keep HER needs in mind. It's about forgetting what you want. Long enough, that she can believe you will give her what she wants.

What you need to do is start low. If you meet a women on the street. Ask her if she has a few minutes for coffee or tea. Take the opportunity to get to know her. If she doesn't have time for a drink. Then ask for her phone number and/or email address. Since she may not want to accept at this moment with such a casual invitiation for coffee/tea. She's more likely to agree to give out her contact information. Most likely, writing it down for you. The main key is to come off as confident but fun. Even a little innocent teasing can be helpful so she doesn't feel too weirded out by giving you her personal information

How To Approach A Women When She's With Her Friends.

This is an age-old problem men have always had. What to do when she won't break away from her pack of friends.

If she has made eye contact with you and smiled. You must move in immediately. Don't wait for her to break from the pack. I know you want to refrain from any embarrassment from her friends. Remember, women look for confidence in a man. If you wait, you will lower her interest in you and risk the chance of someone else moving in on your target and you will look like wimp in her eyes.

So how do you introduce yourself without looking like a complete idiot?
If she's in a group with more then one women. Bring a friend with you. The friend can be a lifesaver and will take a lot of pressure off the initial contact. You might want to want to train your friend in advance.

Another approach is very low risk. If your at a pub, have a waiter deliver a note with a quick message saying something like " Hey, I know you're with friends, but if you'd like to make another friend, step away for a second. (Don't make me come over and start singing to you.)"

More then likely she will come over unless she is totally not interested or is extremely shy. When she gets to your table. "You might want to say something like "I don't normally interrupt people during lunch, but I just had to give you the pleasure of meeting me." (Give her a playful smile.) "What's your name?"

It's always best to tease a bit and also to be a little cocky. It shows the women your strong and confident. Women tend to be a little turned off by the "nice guy" who can't get the courage to go after what he wants.

Typically, women want a dominant man in a relationship. And when I say dominant. What I mean is a guy who takes control of the relationship and is a source of strength for the woman he's with. A man who makes her feel safe and eliminates uncertainty from her life.

So when you see a girl in public that catches your eye. And she seems to be interested in you. Go up to her. Introduce yourself and Bam! You have a chance of meeting the girl of your dreams.