You finally made the decision to join an Internet Dating Service and now you have to write a short description about your lifestyle, personality, likes and dislikes. This is make or break time. If your profile is good you will receive lots of emails begging you to have a conversation. If your profile is poorly written you may receive no responses or only those from inappropriate matches. Here is a collection of time tested tips for writing an effective profile that will attract lots of potentially compatible dates.
1. Include photos. Even profiles with poor photos receive 8 to 10 times more responses as compared to profiles with no photos. Post 5 photos that include a flattering head shot, a good body pose and a photo of you doing something you enjoy. Try not to post 5 exact same poses. Use current photos that truly represent what you look like today.
Consider testing your photos at a photo rating website like HotOrNot.com. This is one of many websites that allow you to upload photos and have others rate them. Submit 10 photos to be rated. Select only the highest rated photos to actually use in your dating profile.
If you are not particularly photogenic hire a professional photographer.
2. Don't copy other profiles entirely but instead look for excellent examples of descriptive writing that can be emulated. If you like the way a person has described their interest in travel or their eyes for example, modify it to fit your profile.
3. Don't be negative. Don't complain about bad past relationships unless the point of your story is how you have changed into a more desirable person. Most people are looking for a relationship that will help them escape life's disappointments. Don't drive them away.
4. Don't come across too needy. Who is going to be interested in being your slave, care taker or psychologist? When writing your profile consider that your readers will be asking themselves these two questions: 1. "Who cares?" and 2. "What's in it for me?"
5. Describe yourself honestly, accurately, and without apology. If you are fat say so in a way that is positive and not apologetic. There are quite literally millions of people that are attracted to each and every body shape and personality type.
Your goal should not be to win over people that aren't naturally attracted to your type because they will never fully appreciate or enjoy you. Instead positively and accurately communicate who you really are so the people that are looking for your exact type will realize that they have found you.
It is one of the most satisfying feelings in the world to be loved for just being yourself.
6. Write with personal warmth as if you are talking directly to a real person (because you are).
7. Include your values and opinions in a positive way. Strong opinions will tell people a lot about you. Those that disagree may pass you by but those that agree with you may feel attracted to a kindred spirit. Be careful not to express those opinions in a way that makes you appear insensitive, disrespectful or intolerant. A know-it-all is no fun for anyone.
8. Don't try to be all things for all people. If you claim to like every type of music, sports, body types and personalities you may be stating that you have no distinguishing interests. Tell what makes you different, not the same as everyone else. You are not trying to attract everyone that reads your profile. You are trying to eliminate people that do not fit your needs.
9. Proof read, spell and grammar check your profile. Also have several friends review the finished profile. Write in complete sentences. Write complete words. Write "please" not "plz". Sloppy writing makes a negative first impression like a dirty car. If you prefer a casual writing style make sure that it communicates clearly with warmth and lots of personality. Don't make the mistake of appearing sloppy, lazy or even ignorant.
10. Make claims that are credible. Don't say that you are smart or funny or athletic. Instead tell a good story to show how this is true.
11. Avoid meaningless clich鳮 Declaring that you like to "live life to the fullest" it is just too vague. That statement can easily mean different things to different people. Instead illustrate your statement by describing a story about a favorite hobby or vacation.
12. Don't be too brief. You must include enough information to offer a sufficient peek into your world. If you are too brief you may not distinguish yourself enough to stand out from the crowd. A long profile will quickly filter out those that would not have been interested anyway but give the interested dating service members enough information to decide to contact you and not some else.
The advertising industry has proven this in definitive tests for over 100 years. Well written, informative, long copy is necessary and always outsells short copy.
13. Be bold but diplomatic about expressing your personal preferences. If you prefer dates from a certain race, religion, age or body type there is nothing wrong with that. However express it clearly as your personal preference only and not as a negative about the other excluded types.
14. Don't be too narrow when specifying the characteristics of your ideal candidate. A long laundry list of inflexible, narrow partner preferences might just scare away good candidates.
15. Test. Write several profiles and post each one for two to four weeks to see which one gets the best results.
16. Use humor. It shows that you are clever, smart, fun and down to earth in ways that a direct claim will not work. It also makes you seem more approachable. Don't use humor at others expense. Don't use off color humor. Don't use too much self deprecating humor. This can be misinterpreted as a lack of self confidence. Don't worry about making everyone laugh because you will always confuse and even turn off some. The people that get a kick out of your specific brand of humor will most likely be fun to be around.
17. Get Professional Help. Many internet dating service companies are more than willing to review or even write your profile for a nominal fee. They know that if you are successful you will recommend their dating service to your friends.
Keep in mind that you don't need a perfect profile just one that is a little more interesting and informative than the next person. Since most dating service members do not bother to put much effort into their profile those that do have a tremendous advantage.
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